I really want to make sure every detail of these first few weeks is documented, because I never want to forget this experience. So this post will be dedicated just to the actual birth. Monday night (the 16th) I went to bed feeling a little crampy, but slept fine until about 4 am. I got up, had some cereal, and watched some Avatar, all the while feeling some small pressure waves. Aaron woke up about 7 and we decided we better let Cathy know soon since she was planning on going to Huntington for a follow-up appointment that day. So a little before 8 I text her and she said she would come check me and then decided if she could make it up there or not. By that time my pressure waves were 4-6 minutes apart but only lasting about 45 seconds. She checked me and I was at a 2. She said she would stay and not go to Huntington because we were definately having a baby, and to call her when the pressure waves were about a minute apart. So Aaron and I just chilled, watched more t.v., and I even got in a little nap. At about 1 we timed a few and they were about 3-4 minutes apart and lasting 50-55 seconds so we called again. Cathy said I was at a 3.5 or 4 and we could go to Bella whenever we wanted. We decided we would leave in about a half hour and meet her up there.
We made sure we had everything we needed, packed it all up in the car and were on our way. At this point the pressure waves were uncomfortable but still completely manageable. I made the comment to Aaron that I was curious where these fell on the scale of how intense they were going to get because I really didn't feel like they were horrible. While we were on our way, I would dry heave a little with each pressure wave, but I really didn't feel like I was going to puke or anything like that. We got to bella at 2:30 and they were filling up the tub for me. I got in and it helped a lot. I was still doing that dry heave thing and Emily asked me if I was pushing, because it sounded like I was. I didn't know...my body was just doing that. So Cathy checked me again and I was already at a 7.5-8. It stayed in the tub for a little while longer until my body started making me push/dry heave a little harder. By that time I was fully dilated but had a little rim of cervix that was still there. So I had to get out of the water and move to the bed so they could try to get it out of the way. This was by far the hardest part of the birth. They put my in a few positions including stuffing pillows under my hips and having me on my back, being on all fours, being on my knees and elbows with my butt in the air, and laying on my left side. All the while Cathy had her hand up my birth canal trying to get that cervix out of the way. She kept telling me not to push but it was so hard not to do something your body was trying to make you do. Janae stayed by my side and coached me through it, I don't think I could have done it without her, she was an amazing coach. That lasted for probably a half hour or so and then they gave me the ok to get back in the tub.
Then it was go time. I started pushing and it was crazy. Your uterus squeezes so tight it kinda forces the air out of you. I was making this crazy groaning noise, not out of pain but because the pressure was so intense it just forces it out of you. The initial pushing down the birth canal felt the same as when you are pooping, but once she started crowning it felt different. At that point I had to try to control my pushes again so that my perineum could stretch slowly. That was also hard but not as hard as before. I could feel it really burning and with each pressure wave she came out a little more until finally her head was out. The relief was instant, but then it was time for the shoulders, which came out easier than the head but still took a little pushing. And then she was born. They lifter her out of the water and put her on my chest. She started breathing right away but didn't cry a lot, just a few noises. I just held her while we waited for my placenta to come out. She was glaring at us like she was so ticked off that we made her come out. :) They gave me a little oxygen hose to wave in front of her face, and then I had to push out the placenta. It only took a few pushes but when it came out the tub filled with blood. I guess it was kind of a lot of blood because they gave me a shot of pitocen to keep my uterus contracting, but nothing too serious. At that point they handed the baby and the placenta to Aaron and he got to hold her for the first time. I got out of the tub and headed back to the bed. They gave the baby back to me and I breast fed for a little while. She did so good right from the beginning.
Then came the not so great part. Cathy had to check to see if I had torn, and I had. I had a 2nd degree tear, which I don't really know what the means but I tore from my vagina to my rectum, but luckily not through my rectum. So I had to get stitched up. At that point I really just wanted my crotch to be left alone, it had been poked and prodded for several hours straight, but it had to be done. It took a long time and I just had to lay there with my legs spread while Cathy worked away. At one point I farted right in her face. I didn't even feel it coming, poor lady. While I got stitched, Janae checked Emery. She weighed 7 pounds 8 oz and was 21 inches long. She was born at 5:02 pm and got a perfect 10 on her Apgar. When that was finally done they gave me my baby back. We spent the next few hours just holding her. My mom went and got us Cafe Rio and after that we just rested, I think I fell asleep for a little bit. At one point Cathy came back to check on me because I felt like I was bleeding a lot but she said I was ok. At 10:30 we decided to go home so we packed up our stuff, dressed Emery in her little (but actually huge) pajamas and headed out the door. She absolutely hated the car seat, and we made it just a few blocks before pulling over so I could get in the back seat and try to calm her down because she was screaming bloody murder. I got her to stop crying and we made it home despite the stupid rain.
I want to try and write down my feelings about it now that the facts have been told. I know I won't be able to capture the emotions and feelings with the justice they deserve but I want to at least try. I'm so incredibly glad we chose the route we did. Everything was so calm and focused around Aaron and me. I did most of my laboring at home with just Aaron to help me through it. He did an incredible job the whole time. He stayed calm and supportive and did anything and everything I asked him to. Once we got to Bella they continued to give us our privacy and I labored in the tub while Aaron rubbed my back and gave me gatorade. We were able to talk about how this was it...what our lives had been centered around for the last 9 months. We were about to meet the little girl we had created. The whole thing remained so peaceful and in the moment. No machines, no random people running around. Emily and Janae were in the bathroom with us on and off, pressing on my knees and telling me how good I was doing. Those 3 ladies are the dream team. They were firm but positive and they provided so much comfort and reassurance to me. I felt in control of myself the whole time, but they stayed right there with me and coached me on how to make it through the tough parts. I do remember praying during the part on the bed when I couldn't push for Heavenly Father to please make that part quick and help me to stay strong. When Emery finally came out and they lifted her into my arms it was so surreal. I just stared at her and told her it was all ok. I talked to Aaron too, just saying things like "Aaron we have a baby."
There really aren't words to describe it, but it was perfect. For the most part it was Aaron, me, and our baby. We did it together and were able to make all the decisions and have all the control about how we wanted the day to go. It was intimate and personal and we both had to work together to make it through. In the end it went so smoothly and perfectly. I feel a special bond to Cathy, Janae, and Emily too. Janae really stepped up and pulled me through the toughest parts. I can't thank those ladies enough for doing all they did for us. Emery's birth was absolutely perfect.
